《中英對照讀新聞》Granny lands bouncer job at brothel 阿嬤在妓院當保鏢

◎陳成良

A 70-year-old grandmother has landed a job as a bouncer at a brothel in Berlin.

一名70歲阿嬤在柏林一家妓院當起保鏢。

According to the owner, granny Waltraud Hotzl, known as 'Mumsy', has no problem turning away drunks and other undesirables who never argue with OAP at the Fraulein Mueller brothel in Hermannplatz.

據業者表示，人稱「姥姥」、祖母級的赫茲爾，在赫曼廣場的「穆勒姑娘」妓院攆走醉漢和其他不與老人家理論的「奧客」，一點也不費事。

Her boss Johann Vepsi, 41, said: "She's got the business perfectly under control. Mumsy is far and away the best for the job."

她的老闆、41歲的瓊安•威普希說：「她讓生意穩健興隆，『姥姥』無疑最勝任這份工作。」

As well as ensuring customers are well-behaved, 'Mumsy' settles disputes between the prostitutes.

除了確保嫖客不滋事，「姥姥」還能擺平妓女之間的糾紛。

Vepsi added: "If she hears of a squabble between the girls, she will shout 'children, all quiet on deck please'. Total silence always follows."

威普希補充說：「如果她聽到小姐當中傳出爭吵聲，她會大吼：『孩子們，上場時請保持肅靜』，隨後全場總是鴉雀無聲。」

新聞辭典

land：（口語）弄到；撈到。He was lucky to land a good job.（他很幸運找到一份好工作。）

mumsy：老式的、守舊的。文中的奶奶人稱Mumsy，是形容她是古板的老婦人。

Fraulein ：（德）小姐、相當於Miss的尊稱；未婚的德國婦女。

OAP：為old aged pensioner縮寫，意思是領退休金（pension）的老年人。

far and away：片語，無疑地。He's far and away the greatest artist. （他無疑是最偉大的藝術家。）

on deck：片語，現有的；在場的。deck原指船舶「甲板」。在體育運動中，尤其是棒球賽事，on desk是指「下一個準備出場的」。on desk circle是棒球場中的「打擊球員準備區」。